8. To talk or not to talk?

Talking; it’s the easiest thing in the world to do, once you’ve mastered it off course.  And pretty much all of us do from a young age.  As babies we cry and our caregivers instantly know that we need something, food, fun or love, but as adults it’s not generally acceptable to cry when we want stuff, or indeed when we need stuff so what is a person to do when their words fail them, and they constantly gesture with their mouths but stop immediatley for fear of critisism, or worse still that their thoughts are pathetic, almost as pathetic as they are.  I have a real fear of rejection, I’m starting to realise. I also fear that once those thoughts are out there, people will scorn and mock me behind my back.  People wil hate me.  I also fear that my thoughts are invalid or that people may think I’m just attention seeking.  In reality my soul is screaming out to be loved, to be tod that I am a worthwhile human being on this earth, that my contribution to this world is important.

But right now, I want to run away.  I still want to die if truth be told and I don’t know how to go on if I cannot talk.  So please please please words, just spill out and hopefully they land on the ears of someone kind.

Night Night

Loopy x.

Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way.

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