I’ve got a visit today and I’m dreading it. Staff always say “is your son coming in today, ah that will be nice” So why do I dread it. My son will come in with his Dad, he’ll play with the toys and he’ll pretty much ignore me. He’s not even 2, I shouldn’t expect him to embrace me and show me he loves me. I feel so detached from him at times. He comes in and I feel like he belongs to someone else, like he’s my nephew or a friends child. It’s difficult to explain.
I do love him, and want the best for him, but I don’t think that’s me. I’m too hard to be around and as he gets older it will impact him more. My son deserves a better mum.