27. Time goes slow when your head is full of noise.

Yesterday’s visit with my son flew by.  It went too fast.  As I mentioned he hugged me and generally made me feel missed.  Todays not so much.  Today the hour felt long and I kept checking my phone for the time. The room next door had kids in it also, and they were running outside our window in the little yard.  They were throwing the toys about, kicking them, running up and down and generally being very rough.  It was distracting.

I’ve noticed over the past few years that if there are a lot of noises going on, I get uneasy, and tense.  I can’t focus and I struggle to cope with it.  It’s the same in here when someone’s shouting, patients are chatting, there’s a TV and radio going and just NOISE!. It’s all nails on a blackboard to me. The diazepam does seem to be helping a little with that though, and I guess its why I’ve managed to come out of my room more.

Little man was also quite shouty today, proudly announcing his ever developing vocabulary.  I should be proud of him, and I am, but I struggle with that noise.

Loopy x.

Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way.

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