30. Little man

We’d booked an hour in the family room toady, by 45 minutes I’d had enough.  OH looked tired also.  This is all too hard on him I think.

“Bet that flew in then Loopy” staff remarked as they let me back in.  Acutally it dragged, it really really dragged.  What the hell is wrong with me.  My little man is a beuatiful, clever, funny little boy, and he’s growing up so fast and I’m missing it all, but when he’s here I just want him to leave.

What the hell is wrong with me!!!!!!

I also want to see him regularly, in the hopes that my bond with him will pop up and say hello.  I just feel weird around him now.  He’s mine but at the moment he’s everyone elses and he’ll forget who his Mum is.  I love him and I hate him. It’s more love than hate but still. How the hell do you explain that?

Loopy x.

 

Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way.

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