36. Weight gain

2 kg!!! another flipping 2 kg since I’ve come in here.  I’m devastated by those numbers on the scale; 59 Kg! The heaviest I’ve ever been in my life was 60 kg and that was the last time my mood was so low.

I feel absolutely grtoesque.  I’ve not even been binging whilst in here.  That’s it, I’m cutting all my portions in half.  I can’t get fat, I just can’t.  I’m thinking now of the Merchant of Venace; “a pound of flesh”.  Could I cut away the fat without any blood loss?

We all know the answer to that one.  Meds or weight gain??? It’s a cruel joke really that all these meds that are supposed to improve your mood, can lead to more self hatred.

Loopy x.

 

Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way.

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