41. On the brink of kicking off.

I’m seriously on the brink of smashing a window, or chucking furntiture about.  It’s seems to be the only way to get staff to talk to you in here. They make the promises of leave and then off course someone kicks off, gets all thier attention and you’re left to wallow alone.

I feel so fucking alone.  I want out, just for a walk by myself to clear my head, just to get away from the mumblings, the constant belching of other patients and the chaos.  I’ve had a video sent to me off my son at home with Granny C and it’s upset me. I’m feeling so useless as a mother.

But as usual when I knock on the office door, I get ignored.  They don’t even look up from their computer screens, I knock again and yup still ignored………… I’m not the type to shout or get angry at them, but it may have to start.

My head is absolutely racing and I want to burn. I just need space, 15 minutes of space……..

Loopy x.

Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way.

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