42. Deep sleep.

I’m on a fairly good little cocktail of drugs at the moment.  It’s no strawberry daquiri, but I guess it has some perks. Diazepam now twice a day, quetiapine twice a day and a zolpidem at night.

Last night was the first time I had quetiapine at night, along with my usual zolpidem and although it took ages to fall asleep (as normal), I slept soundly throughout the night. No crazy dreams last night, just a nice deep much needed state of unconsciousness.  Around 8. 30 am I awakened, and for a few brief moments I had forgotten where I am.

But then it hit me!!!! I went to get breakfast and there was cereal and milk but as usual no spoons or bowels.  Are we supposed to eat like dogs!? Cutlery is guarded heavily at lunch and dinner, but not at brekkie.  I don’t understand it. At brekkie all the girls take the spoons and bowels out of the dining area and don’t return half of them.  They’re not signed in and out like they should be.

I had a great nights sleep but my mood this morning is very low and after eventually getting brekkie sorted I went back to my room and sobbed into my pillow. Not much streamed from my eyes though, I’m very dehydrated.

My mouth is dry. I need to drink more.

Loopy x.


Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way.

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