82. “You just need to be more positive…

“You just need to be more positive in your reviews”; it was an off the cuff remark by someone in here today. It triggered a flood. I’ve been deflated today, feel mad at myself for not making enough progress, feel like the worst mother in the world, feel like I’m never going to get out of here or be ready to get out of here, and then that comment.  It came from a good place and kind hearted person but it stung like a thousand bees.  It’s my families just get on with already attitude.

There they were again, those intrusive ” just kill yourself already” thoughts that frequent my brain. I can’t do this. How the hell do I bounce back from all this? How the hell do I turn off the self loathing and hatred I hold towards myself.

It’s so exhausting.

Loopy x.

Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way. View all posts by insideloopyshead