85. Less tired today.

I’ve been on a higher does of quetiapine now for 3 nights.  Sleep still eludes me but today I’m feeling less knocked out by the quetiapine.  I guess I’m starting to adjust. Today the overwhelming sensation is stress; which is a little easier to cope with than yesterdays suicidal ideation.  I have no desire to ligature today.

Despite being in hospital, I’m still having to organise everything. Contact nursery, pay bills and liaise with grandparents regarding the care of little man. My head is going to explode. It’s a tangible and all to familiar feeling. It’s like a physical squeezing on my head.

I’ve also pulled a leg muscle which is frustrating as it means I can’t kick Wilson as much as I need to.  How will I cope with the urges to self harm today? My mood is a little better though.

Loopy x.

Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way.

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