110. 31%!!!!!!!!!

31%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!; That’s a scary number when it relates to your body fat mass. I had my gym induction today and I swear I could hear my organs weeping under all that fat. My visceral fat has definitely increased since my hospital admission but oh dear lord!!! Then I’m told my BMI is 23. This is the highest my BMI has ever been (I like to stay around 20). O.k lets be honest BMI is a pretty useless measure but when you combine it with such a high body fat percentage, lets face it, I’m on the fast track to cardiovascular disease.

It’s not exactly what you want to hear, when you’re already feeling rather vulnerable but I guess my life needs to be goal orientated this next few months, so lets add that one to the list. By Christmas my BMI will be back to around 21 and my body fat will be in the mid 20’s. On the bright side, despite the devastating news for my arteries, the gym did boost my mood a little.

I will however miss the hospital gym, as I had it all to myself, but more importantly I could wear whatever I wanted without shame.  The scars on my arms didn’t much matter in that environment. I almost forgot myself today, and only just rememberd to pull on a long sleeve T-Shirt when I clocked myself in the mirror, just before leaving the house.  I hate these scars just a little more now that I’ve been released but I shouldn’t.  They are my battle scars and despite their ugly appearance they served an important purpose, and in a weird way played a role in my recovery.  Let’s just try not to create any more.

You’re out now Loopy. Make and keep those goals and you WILL start to feel better.

You’ve got this!!

Loopy x.

Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way.

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