123. Join some groups!

I had psychology today.  We didn’t do much in the way of therapy, but we did chat for an hour. “I see on your notes, that you’ve discussed joining mum and toddler groups” 

It sounds so simple doesn’t it.  Human beings are social creatures and we don’t do so well in isolation.  I’ve certainly proved that off late.  “Can you see why we’re suggesting this?”

Off course I can”.  But I’m terrified off new groups.  I’m terrified of the stares and awkward introductions, and the small talk. I’m terrified that Little man will run off, and I’ll lose him.  I’m terrified that I’ll trip over toys or make an ass of myself pouring tea. I’ve gone to groups before.  I’ve sat alone in the corner, unable to strike up friendships. I’m not a very good version of myself in these scenarios.  Work Loopy; the seemingly confident outspoken, authoritative lecturer who can command the attention of 300+ people, cowers within me, unable to move or speak.

I’ve just re-joined a popular mums app, and I’m dreading receiving any messages.

I am lonely though, very lonely. I’m not sure how to conquer this.

Loopy x.

 

Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way.

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