I had psychology today. We didn’t do much in the way of therapy, but we did chat for an hour. “I see on your notes, that you’ve discussed joining mum and toddler groups”
It sounds so simple doesn’t it. Human beings are social creatures and we don’t do so well in isolation. I’ve certainly proved that off late. “Can you see why we’re suggesting this?”
“Off course I can”. But I’m terrified off new groups. I’m terrified of the stares and awkward introductions, and the small talk. I’m terrified that Little man will run off, and I’ll lose him. I’m terrified that I’ll trip over toys or make an ass of myself pouring tea. I’ve gone to groups before. I’ve sat alone in the corner, unable to strike up friendships. I’m not a very good version of myself in these scenarios. Work Loopy; the seemingly confident outspoken, authoritative lecturer who can command the attention of 300+ people, cowers within me, unable to move or speak.
I’ve just re-joined a popular mums app, and I’m dreading receiving any messages.
I am lonely though, very lonely. I’m not sure how to conquer this.