My head is racing. Everything in my being is screaming at me to hurt myself. It’s not that I want to die, as such. I just want to sleep for a while. A deep undisturbed slumber, where I have no thoughts, worries or responsibilities.
I’ve tried everything today to distract myself. It was not a good time for pyschok8gy to cancel on me.
I almost bought alcohol this evening. I browsed through every wine bottle, eventually snapping out of it and opting for hot chocolate instead. I need the wine for courage.
I can hear my CPN’s gentle voice in my head; “Come on Loopy, what are you going to do this evening to ground yourself?”
“OK audible, it’s a date. I’ll run the bath, you light the candles……”