175. The Toddler Group.

I was nervous, sweaty palmed and my heart was racing. I wasn’t 100% sure where exactly I was going, but as I got nearer, I noticed a group of buggy pushers up ahead and I stalked them. Once inside, I watched other Mums and Dads greet each other, exchange tales of children running wild, and queue up. This lot knew what they were doing.

Little man’s name wasn’t on the list, and with a line of families behind me, I had to awkwardly explain why I was there.

The big hall was full of life; parents chatiing, toys being bashed, and little people causing havoc.

Little man was full of wonder and dragged me from toy to toy. About 20 minutes in, my guardian arrived. I’d not spoken with anyone, nor been spoken to, and Oh god I was glad to see her.

I don’t think this is the role of a nursery nurse but I was grateful for her support. On occasion she left me in the wilderness and I watched, a little in awe, as she struck up conversations with other members. She didn’t know anyone either, but she took it in her stride.

I’ve always been a little shy, but ballsy genetics from my father’s side have on occasion enabled me to fake it. Now though, now I’m a lost little girl, afraid of everything and everyone. I’m trying to find my way back, but I’m not sure if I ever will.

Looking for the positives, little man behaved better than expected and despite my fears, I pushed myself to go.

I won’t have my guardian next time, but I’ve agreed to go again. Who knows, I might even say hello to someone.

Loopy x

Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way.

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