I was good last night, I didn’t frantically try to cram notes into my head, I opted for the gym instead.
This morning I could feel the anxiety rising, but I flicked through my slides only once. I kept telling myself, you’ll be fine, you can do. By lunchtime my heart was thumping!!! I took a lorazepam. The lecture started at 1.
293 expectant faces glared at me, whilst I battled with the AV equipment.
A couple of finger taps on Mic to shuss them;”good afternoon everyone!!! I am Dr……. and today we’re going to talk about the heart”. By the first slide transition, there it was, I noticed my open stance, my strut out from behind the lectern; I’d found my swagger!!!!
An IT glitch a few slides in didn’t phase me, stunned silence when I asked them questions didn’t phase me, I had the nerve to probe, I was in control.
Now I will be clear that this was first year level stuff, and this is not a solid predictor of how subsequent more taxing classes will go. I should also say that this particular cohort had just the right mix of respect, broavdo, humour, and swots to allow the session to flow. They were a nice bunch.
I’m attributing some of calmness to the PRN, and I guess a non rushed prep which was afforded to me because I’m on a phased return.
That being said, I did well today, and it has brought some confidence.