227. Finding my swagger.

I was good last night, I didn’t frantically try to cram notes into my head, I opted for the gym instead.

This morning I could feel the anxiety rising, but I flicked through my slides only once. I kept telling myself, you’ll be fine, you can do. By lunchtime my heart was thumping!!! I took a lorazepam. The lecture started at 1.

293 expectant faces glared at me, whilst I battled with the AV equipment.

A couple of finger taps on Mic to shuss them;”good afternoon everyone!!! I am Dr……. and today we’re going to talk about the heart”. By the first slide transition, there it was, I noticed my open stance, my strut out from behind the lectern; I’d found my swagger!!!!

An IT glitch a few slides in didn’t phase me, stunned silence when I asked them questions didn’t phase me, I had the nerve to probe, I was in control.

Now I will be clear that this was first year level stuff, and this is not a solid predictor of how subsequent more taxing classes will go. I should also say that this particular cohort had just the right mix of respect, broavdo, humour, and swots to allow the session to flow. They were a nice bunch.

I’m attributing some of calmness to the PRN, and I guess a non rushed prep which was afforded to me because I’m on a phased return.

That being said, I did well today, and it has brought some confidence.

Loopy x

Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way.

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