228. A stinger.

This could be triggering so read with caution. It relates to self harm.

Tonight before bed I squeezed in a quick “,stinger” .I call it a stinger when a burning object is held against my arm and pressed deeper as the time elapses, causing my entire arm to sting.

I have a ritual of sort. I select a piece of my upper arm trying to avoid an existent site of cell damage. I flick on the irons, and whilst still cold I jam them imto my skin. As the temperature rises, I focus heavily on sustaining long deep breaths to take me over the pain threshold. An early release ruins it! If you can stick with it, nerve fibres get damaged at the main site thus reducing pain. The most painful bits are those around the edges of a deep burn.

The induced pain around my biceps, travels down my arm and wrist with little stingers prickling. cause my fingers to twitch. Simultaneously they shoot up my bicep into my shoulder and radiate up my neck as, the sting continues.

I consider these burns now, to be a job well done. Anything less, just doesn’t give me the endorphin rush, and the calmess that follows.

Loopy. x .

Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way.

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