339. An unanswered email.

I emailed C yesterday. C was my care coordinator just before, during and after my last hospital admission. I miss her terribly. Since moving home, my new team have been pretty dire. Very nice, but I’ve been promised a psychology referral since early July and they still haven’t done it. I have the same conversation over and over again, but I’m getting no support or care.

This would never happen with C. When she told me she would do something, she would do it. She made me feel properly “listened” to. She made me feel less alone.

I probably stepped over a boundary emailing her. I’ve been desperate to call her, but I’m no longer her responsibility and I guess, i thought a little email would be less intrusive. I’ll never know, if she actually saw it, or read it.

I’ve had no reply, and I’m gutted. This is most likely my BPD at work. I become reliant on people and when they’re gone, I miss them way more than I probably should.

I really really really miss her and I’m feeling lost without her

I guess I just need to learn to deal with it.

Loopy x

Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way. View all posts by insideloopyshead