I work at a fairly prestigious uni, and as course co-ordinator I must be able to sell! That is, sell the subject to prospective students and win over anxious parents. On Wednesday night at a road show I oozed friendlyness and bravado. I beckoned guests to our stand, and honestly wooed them. Its like i step out of myself and become someone else. A confident assured person who can chat to anyone, except it’s all front, hiding the terror within me.
But tonight I’ve had 11mg of zopiclone, I’ve thrown up as much of my dinner as I could, and I’m craving self harm.
I had a bad start today, jumping on the wrong bus and thus turning a 2 hour commute into a 4 hour one. When I finally arrived at work, I couldn’t get into my office. Yep I’d left my keys at home. Thankfully the boss had a master key.
Tonight im quite tired but my head is beginning to self destruct. Shut up thoughts, please shut up.