361. What will 2020 bring?

I’ve had a somewhat chaotic year. A hospital admission, massive move and new job. Nearing the end of 2019 and I’m now sitting here wondering what the future holds.

Today I saw a GP to discuss, once more, my zopiclone dependence. His words” we can’t keep feeding your habit”.. I failed at an attempt to taper down to 7.5mg. I was doomed to fail. My heart and head are not ready. My thoughts are only on where my next fix, could come from. I’m craving it… so much so, that I’m wondering if I could find a dealer. Could I order from India??? I’m feeling rather desperate.

I didn’t even get the chance to talk about my purging. I’m too ashamed. Add to this a massive burn on already heavily scarred skin, and what have we??? A big fat failure.. that’s what.

Little man had a good Christmas though. Santa spoiled him rotten and I guess his buzz and happiness is something to cling to.

I do wonder what 2020 holds for us?

Loopy x

Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way.

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