383. I must

I must appreciate my son more.
I must love him, cherish him and protect him.
I must stop dreading our time together.
I must try harder.

I must create a summer studentship project.
I must create new module content.
I must create a scholarly research project.
I must publish.
I must try harder.

I must stop buying pills.

I must stop abusing zopicline.

I must stop purging.
I must drink more water.
I must stop self harming.
I must try harder.

I must call my best friend more. 
I must arrange to see her.
I must make more of an effort with OH and our families
I must try harder.

I must stop procrastinating.
I must be more productive.
I must set goals and achieve them.
I must try harder.

I must appreciate my life more.
I must stop dwelling on the negatives.
I must stop being a pessimist.
I must stop hating myself.
I must try harder.

I must accept my crappy eyesight, and ignore the constant stares from strangers
I must accept my life.
I must stop feeling overwhelmed.
I must stop planning my suicide.
I must lose weight.

I must stop wanting to quit it all.
I must get my shit together!!!!!!!

I can’t………………..

Loopy x

Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way. View all posts by insideloopyshead