394. A hanging..

I tried, but i fell short.  This evening I locked my bathroom door, tied pj bottoms around the shower curtain rail, and threw some knots around my neck.  I’d almost got it perfect. 
But then the cavalry arrived. 
I though I’d have more time. Checks here are scarse at best. Now my clothes have been removed and cupboards cleared.  I’ll try again, I’m sure of it.

I’ve come to the very sad realisation that it’s not OH and little man who’d be better off without me.  It’s me, it’s me, it’s me who needs to go. I can’t continue any longer pretending to be smashing life when in fact it’s crushing me….

That little voice in my head, “run fatty run, puke fatty puke,  burn ugly burn, your a failure, your a waste of space, you difficult and selfish and horrid.  Die damn it, do us all a favour and die!!!

Loopy x

Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way. View all posts by insideloopyshead