466. A bit emotional

I feel like I could burst into tears. I don’t know how to feel.

I’m in shock, I’m scared and a little annoyed at myself for not feeling happier.

3 tests done now, and they’re all positive. I think I need a good cry to be honest.

1. What if I miscarry again? I couldn’t handle that!

2 What if I don’t miscarry, and actually have another baby? I couldn’t handle that!

3 What if my bad habits have already done irreparable damage? What if my meds are causing abnormalities right as I’m writing this? I couldn’t handle that?

4. What about a birth? Oh my god, not doing that again!!!! No no no NO NO!

5. What if this is all just too much? 

Breathe Loopy !

Loopy x

Loopy x

Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way. View all posts by insideloopyshead