476. I don’t want to talk

I bailed half way through a counselling appointment last week. I told her I wanted to end the session. I have psychology coming up, being fast tracked due to the whole pregnancy thing, but I’m dreading it. At the moment I don’t want to talk. The counselling is a self referral stop gap. You get 6 sessions and then you have to re refer. I really friggin liked her, but even with her, I started to clam up.

At the moment I’m doing a lot of crying, a lot of self appraisal and a lot of failing.

I’m so ashamed of how I’m feeling. I thought I’d pop on here and spill with ease but nope, I can’t even write down how I’m feeling.

I’m a horrible horrible person.

I wish the counsellor would contact me, but it’s not her job to do that. She left the door open, but I can’t quite walk through it. I need her to pull me through it.

Loopy x

Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way.

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