Little bubs birth was planned. It was going to be lovely. He’d be immediately placed on my chest. He’d gaze up at me. We’d get a hit of gushy hormones and we’d fall in love.
As you might know, things didnt go to plan. It was ages before I held him and then he was whisked off to the nicu. I didnt hold him again for a few days I think. It’s all still a bit hazy.
No proper snuggles or skin to skin at all whilst in hospital. Not the start I wanted. But I cant dwell on that now. That wasnt my fault.
Now we’re home, I’m soaking him in. After little man heads off to bed myself and bubs sit for about to hours, with him snuggled in my chest.
I dont know what skin to skin does exactly but it feels just lovely. It calms me right down and he snoozes so content. I cant stop looking at him. I love him, I really do.
Things feel a little different this time around. Good different.