511. Drowning again

It’s a tough week. I’ve coped relatively well with life and work stessors of late. Tonight though I’m sobbing, uncontrollably sobbing. I’ve binged, I’ve purged, I’ve binged and purged some more I’m eating orlistat like smarties and all I want to do is burn.

The best therapist I’ve ever had, the one who’s guided me so carefully and expertly, the one who takes no shit, the one who intervenes so annoyingly at times, the one who frustrates the hell out of me, the one who I frigging love and not in a creepy sister/ mother transference way, the one who is just fucking excellent at her job, the one I needed,…………………is leaving……………………….

Suddenly I’m 20m under water again. I’m gasping, im panicking, my chest is tight, I can’t breathe…..

Right loopy, get of this phone….. Quick what can you see? What can you hear?

Loopy x

Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way. View all posts by insideloopyshead