Category: lecturing

446. Face to face again.

I’m a lecturer in case you’ve not been a long time follower. I’m a socially anxious, highly self conscious, paranoid being, but I took up this profession when my confidence was high. It’s odd really, walking into the room, I’ll feel a thousand eyes on me, my body will be trembling, and then I’ll do my little routine. Log in to the pc, take a sip off water as I stroll around my “stage” all non chalant. I’ll gaze at the crowd as if I’m counting them, but I’m not really.

Then boom; “ok folks we’ll make a start” it’s my usual opener, and something odd happens. My work persona kicks in and I act my ass off. I act confident and knowledgeable, I act professional and calm. I’ll field questions with a smile and speak happily with those odd few who always stay behind to probe further. I’ll get through it, and once done, I’ll take a huge breath and steady myself, for real this time. A cup of tea will be needed.

Tomorrow’s a short module intro talk, but I’ve not been in front off a crowd like this since March. Tonight I’m feeling grotesquely fat, ugly all over, and paranoid they’ll quickly realise I’m a mess. Time to hit the gym hard again. Time to up my Orlistat.

Thank goodness most of my teaching this year is remote. Just get through tomorrow loopy.

Let’s get some sleep, 15mg tonight I think, you’ve an early star

Loopy x

414.Work probation.

I’ve only gone and done it!! I’ve passed my probation period at work and have been confirmed in post despite my recent absence.

I’m in shock, I’m thankful and oh my god, I’m so relieved. Apparently I’ve proven I can do the job, and I’ve hit all my probation objectives.

A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

My boss knows of my llness (depression) and gave the green light anyway. I could seriously hug him!

Be proud today loopy, and you know what, go on buy that new bike you want.

Loopy x

371. A brainwave.

I have a PhD but I’m clearly not very smart. I’ve been lecturing now for around 6 years, and in those years my poor eyesight has induced high levels of stress and sleepless nights.

I teach biomedical science, which by it’s very nature is reliant on many complicated diagrams depicting complex pathways and molecular processes.  The poor eyesight has been an issue, because I often can’t see the diagram I’m explaining.  Lecture theatre screens just aren’t that big!! (You may disagree)

I have therefore spent hours memorizing the orientation and specific location of items on the diagram so that I could confidently explain it.

Yesterday a light bulb went off in my head.  Lecture capture and screen capture technology has been around for years now. 

Loopy, you dumbass!!!, just make a recording of your explanations of the diagram in your office, with your large screen and huge notes.  Then embed it into your PowerPoint.

It’ll save you hours of stress and will actually help your students with their revision.

Flashback Pro 5, you are the best £60 I’ve spent in quite some time….

Loopy x

358. Wearing many hats.

I’m actually a little proud of myself. This week, was a big one at work. We had panel meetings and curriculum scrutiny, and through it all I remained calm, somewhat competent and dare I say: confident.

I was pulled in as course co-ordinator, module co-ordinator, learning and teaching committee member, disability advisor and all round jack of all trades.

Today was the final day of term, AND I SURVIVED!! This morning I marked presentations, sorted exams, and then spent the afternoon laughing, joking and Christmas quizzing with my wonderful new colleagues. I’m now slightly tipsy on mulled wine, but I don’t think that’s the sole cause of my optimism.

Well done Loopy, seriously well done!!

Loopy x

354. A pleasure to read.

I’m a luttle snowed under with marking at the moment. I have a stack of 2nd year essays, on everyhing from platelet biology, to cervical smeara, to organ and tissue prep for pathology. Basically, its heavy reading.

I get a whole spectrum of work, ranging from “how on earth did you make it this far” to ” oh my god, you write better than most professors”

Marking, as a task, is much like the turbulence of BPD. Sometimes I want to pull my hair out! Long, undulatung, non sensical paragrahs, devoid of punctuation, literally suck the life out of me, and force me to question my life choices.

Fatigue, despair, and hoplessness grab hold and then, just like magic I find a diamond in the rough! A piece of work, that jumps out at mje, that leads me on a journey of discovery and wonder. A piece of work that’s tantilising, eliquent and most importantly, PROPERLY REFERENCED!

In an education sector, where we are systematically removing the space for natural flare, the space for innovatuon and self driven excellance, through the assessment coaching, through transparency of marking rubrics and criteria, and through business driven hand holding, its great to draw the battle lines with a simple scientific essay. Most will fade into insignificance, and few will emerge as heros!

Well done student J!You’ve listened, you’ve learned and you’ve inspired me to fight on, and to lecture another day.

Loooy x