Guinea pigs!!! Betty’s a boy, oh and a bad boy he is too!
We’ve gone from owning 3 guinea pigs to 9!! Thelma and Louise are doing well though, happy mums.
There must be something in the air. Myself and OH have had some relationship difficulties over the years, difficulties that have knocked both his and my self confidence. I even purchased little blue pills to see if that would help. We’ve never tried them.
This last few weeks though, oh boy!!! Think Greys Anatomy on call rooms, think Bridgerton, think back to the very very beginning off a relationship when you simply can’t keep your hands off each other.
It’s doing wonders for my self esteem!! He’s cut out evening junk food, favouring a coffee instead but apart from that, who knows. We’re not sure what exactly has changed, but we’ve definitely reconnected.
We don’t sleep together much, OH and I. It’s a combination of his low libido and my new found depression induced self hatred and lack of confidence.
I bring it up occasionally, and last Thursday night during pillow talk, I suggested that tonight (saturday) we’d have some scheduled sexy time. The only caveat was that he must make the moves. He agreed.
Tonight we’ve gone to bed a little early. He’s climbed in, turned his back to me and is now spark out. It’s an all too familiar story. It’s one that crushes me every time.
Am I so ugly and undesirable? Am I really that repulsive???
OH has always affectionately described me as “all hands”, me having the greatest our sex drives. This past year however I’ve lost my mojo, and we’ve lost our ability to connect.
Here’s the thing about depression. It robs you!! It robs you of your confidence and your energy. It robs you of your libido and your lust. It robs you off your desires and it damages your relationships.
Last night OH and I slept in my teenage bedroom. Pictures of us in our early days, full of hope and love hung selotaped to my bedroom door. Mum and Dad slept below us, mums snoring penetrating the floor boards. The old wooden bed creaked under every subtle movement, as it always did.
All off a sudden a little magic took over. We where young again, feeling the lust and excitment that embodied those two younger selves on my door. We were michevious and a little thrilled, trying desparatly not to be heard. We where in love again!!!
To be so close and intimate reminded us both of what we had, and what we must work to have again. Sex has the ability to cast off the shackles of depression. It has the ability to flood our bodies with amazing senses and our minds with an overwhelming sense of wellness.
Trust me everything, have more sex!!! There is just a little more spring in my step today 🙂