Today I had a follow up call with the lovely lady from social services. She informed me that my CMHT are planning to discharge me from their care. It’s frigging laughable. I’m not much further on, they’ve done nothing to help me and now I’m just being dumped!! The CMHT haven’t told me this yet, but I guess it’s coming.
This little nugget of information was concerning enough to the lady from SS, that she is recommending a transfer to SS care. She is recommending that we have more input and family support. I guess she fears for little man. I do too.
As for the CMHT, fine, absolutely fine, FUCK OFF!!! I’m done with you anyway!!
I’m almost too tired to blog. Today has been a rollercoaster.
Little man started preschool, we had a meeting with our health visitor and then to top it off we had a social services assessment with my new care co-ordinatior from the CMHT team in tow. Oh yes another new fecking care co-ordinator! I’d only met my latest one for the first time yesterday to then be immediately told, ‘oh you’ll have someone different from tomorrow.’ I nearly walked out the door right then..
I’ll never have them back, and I need to let them go, but oh my god, I miss L and C. The ladies who co-ordinated my care before we moved home to fix our lives. FFS Loopy, move on, it’s been more than a year!!
The lady from SS was lovely to be fair but jeepers it was quite in depth. She arrived and 3.30 and wasn’t gone til near 6.
Now we have the age old question to think about, by Monday. ‘What would help you?’
I’ve been having a lot of muscle aches and pains lately, and memory lapses. It’s starting to worry me. I’d kind off switched from zopiclone to diazepam at night. Above the recommended dose off course. No one seems to care, that I’m a drug addict, off sorts. They just keep prescribing benzos and Z’s without question. I’m digressing.
Anyway I reckon the diazepam was/is causing the muscle pains. I’ve gone off it anyway after one horrendous, almost out of body, night terror experience. I woke myself up screaming! Had the worst realistic nightmare I’ve ever had. Was physically shaking, heart racing upon awakening. It scared me. Zopiclone has never done that.
As for my memory, I put things down and instantly forget. I walk into rooms and don’t know why? Today topped it all. I was chatting to my neighbour and her doggy over the fence. I talk to Flynn (doggie) daily. Today though, I could not for the life off me, recall his name.