we made it………
I had little man all day, whilst Daddy went to work. Our first real time together since I’ve come out off hospital.
It was a difficult day, but also one I’m proud off. I shed some tears, almost called the ward for help, almost called granny to say I couldn’t cope, but then the emotional wave passed and I perserveered.
My conclusion though is that my main issue is 100% untreated postnatal depression and recovery from that needs to be my main focus.
The meds will not solve anything and the self esteem issues and self hatred will hopefully ease if I can just get the right help.
I hope little man had no idea. I hope I’m not damaging him. I hope he knows that i do Iove him and i hope I can beat this.
Loopy x
Tag: coping
408. Home again
6 weeks on a psych ward and pretty much zero improvement. I’m out on leave until Tuesday and then I’ll be discharged.
Basically we all recognised that the stay was off no benefit, and without being allowed to burn, my use of ligatures just escalated.
So I’m back home, on a ridiculous regimen of meds, and little hope going forward. How do I get help here? How do I get better? How on earth will I cope when little man comes home from granny’s on Sunday.
I am happy to be back in my own bed though, with no restrictions and OH’s arms wrapped tightly around me.
Loopy x
371. A brainwave.
I have a PhD but I’m clearly not very smart. I’ve been lecturing now for around 6 years, and in those years my poor eyesight has induced high levels of stress and sleepless nights.
I teach biomedical science, which by it’s very nature is reliant on many complicated diagrams depicting complex pathways and molecular processes. The poor eyesight has been an issue, because I often can’t see the diagram I’m explaining. Lecture theatre screens just aren’t that big!! (You may disagree)
I have therefore spent hours memorizing the orientation and specific location of items on the diagram so that I could confidently explain it.
Yesterday a light bulb went off in my head. Lecture capture and screen capture technology has been around for years now.
Loopy, you dumbass!!!, just make a recording of your explanations of the diagram in your office, with your large screen and huge notes. Then embed it into your PowerPoint.
It’ll save you hours of stress and will actually help your students with their revision.
Flashback Pro 5, you are the best £60 I’ve spent in quite some time….
Loopy x
What really happens in somones head? 