What really happens in somones head?
Admission to a psych hospital and beyond; my personal depression experience.
I’ve just passed the 100km mark [104.64 km to be exact] on the cycle challenge, I set at work. It’s me vs Dr. E. She’s as competitive as I am, which is great. It’s keeping me motivated.
I’m proud of myself, and I’ll keep going. 480km to go!!!
Loopy x
I’ve not had the motivation to cycle lately. I’ve been lazy, lethargic and just blah
Work wise we are operating through MS teams and I know some of my colleagues like to cycle so I’ve set us a challenge.
How fast can we as a group cover the length of beautiful ireland. I’d kind off forgotten we’re all in academia, which means that we’re quite a competitive bunch.
The race is on to do the 581 km, not just as a group, but Individually!!!
Hell yeah, I’m competitive!! It’s just what I needed to get me pedalling again. 16km down, only 565 to go!!
Loopy x
I’m back on the roads, pumping pedals as hard as I can and sweating buckets!!!
I did probably 18 miles today in scorching heat.
I got stuck behind two ladies kitted in lycra and obviously road bike fanatics, and I must admit I felt a little smug being able to keep up with them.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I’m competitive, often to my own detriment, so let’s face it I wasn’t going to let them get out of sight!! But nonetheless it boosted my endorphins.
I know this routine by now, June, July I’ll be energised, I’ll cycle, I’ll cope and I’ll improve and then come August BLAM!!! I’ll start to crash.
It’s a pattern, one that I’ve never really discussed but one that is ingrained by now.
So while this lasts I’ll enjoy the little mood boosts, and continue to cycle harder and faster.
Oh by the way, I’m nearly off the zopiclone. I’ve gone it alone (I had to!!, there’s no help here!!) and Im coping. 3.75mg / night. This is the lowest dose I’ve been on in nearly 2 years.
Oddly, lockdown is suiting me, I’m liking hiding away, not seeing ppl, not showering (gross I know) and lounging in football tops. I’m scared of coming out of it
Come on Loopy, keep your head up!!
Loopy x
What happens when you mix glorious sunshine, with quietiapine and albinism??
Lobster Loopy, that’s what I went for a bike ride today, but stupidly forgot to apply my factor 50. I’m growing redder by the minute.
The worst part is scorching the backs of my hands as any movement at all stretches and pulls at the skin.
34 odd years with albinism and a few years on quietiapine, you think I’d know better.
On a side note, I’m really really really missing C and L today. I had my first phone contact with my new care coordinator this afternoon. They prefer the term key workers over here. I think it’s because the title of care co-ordinator could be taken up with trading standards!!! They coordinate f$%k all.
To quote directly I was told” it’s not like I’ll be ringing you every week, I’ll review you in a month”
Can please please PLEASE have L or C again……
Loopy x
After passing probation and being confirmed in my job, I treated myself.
My last bike was good, but this one??? Oh baby!!!! 
When I can muster the motivation to actually drag my arse out the door and go, cycling clears my head, fills me with joy and boosts my mood.
I love it! Now it’s time to shift all those pounds I’ve been gaining during lockdown.
Loopy x
Today was good. Best I’ve felt in a while. We took little man on his bike to a forest which he loved and off course we got to do some “forest bathing”.
We followed this up with a trip to the local ice cream store and we all happily munched on banana and bubblegum flavoured goodness as we basked in sunshine.
Right now, I’ve just come back from a bike ride. Tonight it was not to burn calories, it was not aggressively attacked, it was purely for enjoyment….. and it worked.
I need more of these days.
Loopy x
Two solo and one with little man on board.
Why 3? Because I’m fat, that’s why!! Disgustingly fat!
I might do 4 tomorrow.
Loopy x
The cycle helmet debate is one that continues to rage. There are countless arguments for and against their usefulness.
Today, mine saved me from almost certain concussion, or worse.
You can see my elbow above took some of the force. My hip and back are in agony, and I can barely walk. I suspect I’m going to be pretty sore for a while………
Please everyone, wear a cycle helmet, and teach your kids to do so. They will not save you from an impact with a HGV, but when your back wheel gives way under a patch of ice or loose gravel, or you’re too slow to uclip your feet at traffic lights, or some ignorant driver cuts you off, forcing you into hedges or ditches and you find yourself stunned but awake lieing on a road. You’ll be thankful for that casing around your head.
Mine has now been compromised, so it’s time to go helmet shopping.
I could cry, honestly I could cry. Life keeps kicking me and I’m fed up with it.
Loopy x
It’s pitch dark, chilly out, and I’ve just come back from a bike ride. I was asked the other day if I prefer the gym, or bike? I couldn’t really answer.
I prefer the gym for tracking calories burned, and the little competitive streak in me, thrives on turning my machines resistance up, just a notch above the guy or girl sweating beside me.
I favour the bike though, for sheer fun. 10 year old Tom boy Loopy rises from the ashes, and thrives on jumping kerbs, going flat out on hill slopes and leaning just a little to deep and fast into corners. On the odd occasions I can lose myself, and clear my mind, it’s magic.
Tonight though I’ve pushed my luck a little. I have no sense of direction, but something made me go down roads I’ve not travelled before. Something made me head for darkness and not care where I ended up. I was a little reckless and honestly lucky I found my way back.
I’ve been reckless lately, doing things I shouldn’t and holding back on the absolute truths of how I’m coping. My arms are a mess and my personal hygiene is crying out for a good scrub
Loopy x.
I’ve bought some new lights, not really out of need, but out of impulse. I do that when I’m low. I browse through amazon for several items I suddenly desire, and before I know it, I’ve racked up a hundred quid.
On the bright side, my bike and clobber is illuminated like a fairground ride. No harm really; well except that I can’t financially afford these impulses.
Here’s a tip though. If I can smell your sweet blossom aroma from my bike as I whiz past you in frost bitten breezy air; No shit Sherlock!!! YOU’RE WEARING TOO MUCH PERFUME!!!.
What really happens in somones head? 