367. Murder.

I wonder what it feels like……to murder. Don’t worry folks, this is not some declaration of descent into psychopathy, but it is on my mind.

Irish media reports at the moment are filled with the tragic discovery of a 17 year old boy. This however was not some standard stabbing, or scuffle that got out of hand. It was the brutal dismemberment of a young man’s body, limbs discovered in a duffle bag, head discovered in a burnt out car, and a torso, to my knowledge, yet to be reclaimed.

I can kind off understand crimes of passion, emotions running high as the red mist decends. I can empathise with murder caused in self defence. Crime lords whacking people with a gun shot, to assert authority, is off course ethically questionable but still, in a sense humane.

This however was something else. A drugs feud that has resulted in unspeakable horror. It was calculated, planned, ordered by some high almighty, but the brutality beggars belief.

How can someone inflict such torture on another human being? What sort of twisted mindset enables you to carry on, as your victim begs for their life, roaring in unimaginable pain. How can they possibly live with themselves knowing what they have done?

He was a child. A young lad on the cusp of adulthood, who found himself amongst thugs, who probably revelled a little in having wads of cash.

But ultimately he was someone’s “little man” I’m shocked..

Loopy x

297. A shock.

Today I went into work, for what was supposed to be my final time.

It was a day full of saddness and shock as myself and colleagues learned that one of our own sadly passed away last night.

The mood was understandibly low as everyone tried to process the news. She was in charge of all our labs. She was the go to person if we had issues with our practical classes, but more than this, she was a really really nice lady who has been taken far too soon.

The teaching labs will never be the same again. It really hit me though that she has left behind a grieving family. A family that would give anything to spend more time with her.

I sway back and forth on the positives and negatives of us moving back home. Today I’m grateful that I’ve resigned. I’m grateful that myself, OH and little man will spend more time with our families.

That’s what life is really about isn’t it? On our death beds, none of us will be wishing that we worked more!!!! Call the ones you love today, because tomorrow they might not be here…..

Loopy x

286. Dying young

I can’t explain this but I have this awful niggling feeling that I’m going to die soon. It’s a feeling that comes and goes, but tonight it’s quite strong.

I can see the devastation on OH and little man. I can see my family crowding round my coffin at my wake. I can see a doctor confirming that my cancer is terminal. I can see it all.

I’m having little chest pains tonight, which I guess are fueling my thoughts a little

Do other people think like this? I don’t like it.

Loopy x