What really happens in somones head?
Admission to a psych hospital and beyond; my personal depression experience.
I’ve just had email confirmation that my prescription was approved and I’ll receive my first Saxenda pen tomorrow.
Hopefully I can manage to inject myself. Hopefully the side effects are tolerable.
Hopefully I’ll lose some weight.
You need to get active too Loopy!
Loopy x
And not that oul soccer shite. Proper football!! Gaelic football!!! ;0 (Ok I do like soccer too)
I made an effort. I found a club and made enquiries. Tonight despite all my anxiety and fear, I forced myself to go!!! The original “Beautiful Game”
I’m glad I did. Ok I was probably the most geriatric there! (@34) I lacked kicking accuracy and down right sprinting pace but fuck it, I gave it guts and had some fun.
The next training session is Friday, and I’ll be there!
Good job Loopy!!
Loopy x
Loopy x
I’ve just passed the 100km mark [104.64 km to be exact] on the cycle challenge, I set at work. It’s me vs Dr. E. She’s as competitive as I am, which is great. It’s keeping me motivated.
I’m proud of myself, and I’ll keep going. 480km to go!!!
Loopy x
I’m back on the roads, pumping pedals as hard as I can and sweating buckets!!!
I did probably 18 miles today in scorching heat.
I got stuck behind two ladies kitted in lycra and obviously road bike fanatics, and I must admit I felt a little smug being able to keep up with them.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I’m competitive, often to my own detriment, so let’s face it I wasn’t going to let them get out of sight!! But nonetheless it boosted my endorphins.
I know this routine by now, June, July I’ll be energised, I’ll cycle, I’ll cope and I’ll improve and then come August BLAM!!! I’ll start to crash.
It’s a pattern, one that I’ve never really discussed but one that is ingrained by now.
So while this lasts I’ll enjoy the little mood boosts, and continue to cycle harder and faster.
Oh by the way, I’m nearly off the zopiclone. I’ve gone it alone (I had to!!, there’s no help here!!) and Im coping. 3.75mg / night. This is the lowest dose I’ve been on in nearly 2 years.
Oddly, lockdown is suiting me, I’m liking hiding away, not seeing ppl, not showering (gross I know) and lounging in football tops. I’m scared of coming out of it
Come on Loopy, keep your head up!!
Loopy x
After passing probation and being confirmed in my job, I treated myself.
My last bike was good, but this one??? Oh baby!!!! 
When I can muster the motivation to actually drag my arse out the door and go, cycling clears my head, fills me with joy and boosts my mood.
I love it! Now it’s time to shift all those pounds I’ve been gaining during lockdown.
Loopy x
I need to run, I need to run, I NEED TO RUN!!!
I’m a ball of nervous tension. I’m going stir crazy. I need to run!!!
Our little yard is the size of a frigging matchbox.. I can’t sprint there. We have a ball, but the walls are more glass than brick. I’m desperate to kick it HARD!!! What is it we me and football’s in hospital??
I sneaked in a little burn earlier, but it didn’t work. The waters not hot enough, and they’ve sequestered my straighteners so no joy there.
How on earth do I vent all this???
Loopy x
Today was good. Best I’ve felt in a while. We took little man on his bike to a forest which he loved and off course we got to do some “forest bathing”.
We followed this up with a trip to the local ice cream store and we all happily munched on banana and bubblegum flavoured goodness as we basked in sunshine.
Right now, I’ve just come back from a bike ride. Tonight it was not to burn calories, it was not aggressively attacked, it was purely for enjoyment….. and it worked.
I need more of these days.
Loopy x
Two solo and one with little man on board.
Why 3? Because I’m fat, that’s why!! Disgustingly fat!
I might do 4 tomorrow.
Loopy x
It was bad enough when I was working, but now that I’m unemployed, I really can’t afford to be impulse buying……
Try telling that to my brain. It’s 9.30 pm and I’ve just come back from a bike ride. This little jaunt was not for exercise or pleasure. NO at 8.30 I decided I needed new bed covers, and NO it can’t wait until tomorrow… Sainsbury’s would have some (damn you Sainsburys!!), and try as I might to resist the urge; I failed!!!! At least I burned some calories..
Oh come on, who doesn’t love new sheets!
Loopy x
And oh god I needed it!! I’m so grateful right now for the constant gentle supportive nagging that I’ve had about finding hobbies again. I totally forgot how much I used to enjoy judo and how much fun it is to chuck 15st dudes around. Tonight’s class was all wrestling; proper wrestling!
Let’s face it, these things tend to be male dominated and you know what? That’s part of the rush. I’m 5 ft 3, and currently weigh 55 kg, and I’ve just spent an hour grappling with guys twice my size.
I got floored several times and my flat chested fried eggs, are now pancakes!, but it was awesome.
Last night I had hit rock bottom, and cried a flood before bedtime, but tonight, I’m feeling rather elated. I’m going to be bloomin sore tomorrow.
Loopy x
What really happens in somones head? 