My anxiety levels are through the roof. I’ve been offered my dream job, but I fear it shall be snatched away from me.
The medical questionnaire was very in depth. If I lied too much, I could be easily caught out. I fear I’ve spilled too much. I fear the prejudices and stigma around mental health will come to the fore and rob me off my future.
I can’t bear it. Best case scenario I’m pulled into Occi Health for an assessment. Worse case……..well…………….
If I lose it now, I’ll be more than crushed.
I should have lied!!!
Yesterday I had an interview. 3 questions where quite tough but the first, well the first should have been a shoe in.
“Tell us about your teaching experienxe”
I’ve been lecturing for 6 years. I’ve covered all the bases of designing and delivering a curriculum. I should have hit this one out of the park…..
But no! I was a bumbling idiot who could barely string a sentence together. I really don’t know what happened. I just froze.
I’m so angry at myself!!!!I have another interview for a different place in just over a weeks time. I hope I can find some of my lost bravado by then….
It’s pretty much 12am and I’m just heading for bed. I’ve been preparing a PowerPoint presentation, that must be submitted by tomorrow. “How would you embed employability into the science cirriculum?. It’s for my “dream job” at a top UK Russell group uni, yet my hearts not in it. Why is my heart not in it?
I’ve completed the slides, and will send them off by the deadline tomorrow. But I really must summon some enthusiasm before the actual interview/interrogation on the 31st of this month.
I must also prepare for a phone interview this Friday at another university for a part time, working from home gig. I have no enthusiasm for that either. What the hell is wrong with me??!!
On a side note, I think I should set up a CV consultancy business. I’m very good (near 100% success) at landing interviews!!!
Today was D day. At 2.20 I recieved the Skype call, and was faced with a panel of 5! I was grilled!!!
I’ve come away exhausted, sure I haven’t got it, but I’m not deflated. I’ve done incredibly well to do this, the day after discharge from a psych hospital. It has given me courage to apply again.
You did well loopy. Be proud of yourself no matter the outcome.