322. Clingy…

This time last year, I genuinely feared that my son hated me. One year on and I have a total anaconda on my hands!

Teeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!; I hear bellowing relentlessly around the house. I hope he always calls me Tee.

He clutches to my leg and wraps himself around me, he demands that only I take him for his pee pees and ony I will do at bedtime. There is no doubt that he loves me, no doubt that he sees me as his protector and play mate, but oh my word; it’s exhausting!!!!

I assume this clingy phase will pass.

Loopy x

307. Our first day alone.

Today was my first day alone with little man (since our move home) as OH began his new job. Grandparents were also away, so it was a true test of my abilities.

I’m very very relieved, to report that we had fun. His tantrums didn’t rock me and his smiles and laughter filled my heart with joy.

Today was a good mood dat, and on those days I’m in control, I’m confident and I’m fun. I only wish that every day could be a good mood day.

Loopy x

298. Stand offs.

We’re in the throws of the terrible two’s. Little man has my temper, coupled with OH’s stubberness. This makes for an explosive cocktail!

We’ve been good so far on the united parenting front. When we say no, we mean no!!! Little man is certainly testing the boundaries; throwing himself on the floor, squealing and shrieking like something possessed and ultimately testing my patience to it’s limits.

We’ve been good though, no raised voices or shouting. We just calmly stand our grand, which is a huge departure from how I was raised. A quick slap was the tool of choice during my upbringing. Not excessively by any means but used nonetheless.

Psychology has helped myself and OH to map out our own path on the family front, not conforming to our own parents ideals. Its not as easy as it sounds.

Loopy x

293. An unusual dilemma.

It’s day 3 of potty training and we’re now at around 50% success rates. Not bad going really, and I’m feeling proud of our little man.

He loves using his potty. Well actually to be more precise, he loves emptying his potty down the “big toilet” Here in lies the dilemma. Our little man’s control is so good that he stops his pee pee mid flow, so that he can go clean the potty. He empties it, goes again with a few more dribbles and so the routine follows until he’s eventually empty.

It’s great that he’s doing so well, but mmmmmm we can’t go back and forth repeatidly all day. These little people certainly do keep us on our toes.

PS potty training is very similar to training a puppy…Consistency is key!.. 😉

Loopy x

292. Po Pees!!!

It’s day 2 on our potty training adventure. Here’s what I’ve learned so far;

1. You must watch your child like a hawk!!! Literally the second your back is turned, they will pee.

2. You must fill up your child with juice. You need litres of pee pees to give them ample opportunities to practice.

3. The first successful pee pee on the potty is the best feeling in the world, for both of you. Better than any anti depressant I’m on.

4. Little boys love to show off their accomplishment to daddy!!! Don’t clean out the potty too quickly.

5. There’s no need for treats or bribes. Ample praise and high fives is all that’s needed. His little face is a treasure to behold, when he’s showing off his pee pee in the potty.

6. Keep floot wipes at the ready and guard soft furnishings relentlessly.

7. Prepare to sound silly as you adopt your little ones phrasing. In our case it’s “Po pees!!!!”

Loopy x

291. Potty training!!!

My little man asked to go Pee pee at the weekend. He’s been following Granda alot and has become interested.

Today we’ve set up his potty, stripped his bottom bare and now we’re running after him with paper towels at the ready.

We’ve had several puddles on the floor, but he definitely does like his new potty (the built in flush sound is a hit)

Watch this space. I’ll post what I’ve learned from the experience if this go is successful. We really haven’t a clue what we’re doing. I’ve only ever trained puppies. Little people are a whole other prospect.

Loopy x

288. Little man.

The last time I saw my little man in the flesh, was as I waved goodbye to him at the psych hospital door. It has been 11 weeks and although I’ve face timed him, I’m not sure how he will receive me tomorrow.

I can’t wait to hug him, and tell him that I love him, but I’m also terrified that our bond is irreparably broken.

I feel like I abandoned him (again). I feel like he was happy during my absence and thus would be better off without unstable me in his life. I feel so much guilt, for almost leaving him permanently during my last dumb overdose. I really could have died, and yet sitting here now waiting for what tomorrow will bring, I’m craving sleeping pills, or self harm, or………. something to stop my racing head. I need better coping mechanisms. I need help.

My little man deserves a better mum. I hope, with all my heart that I can be just that…….

What if I fail again?

Loopy x.