It had been building up. Nausea and shakyness took control tonight. It was not a planned purge, but instead an unavoidable, quick run to the bathroom vomit. A couple more followed in the same manner before bed..
Right now I’m in bed, having scoffed some zopi I feel less shaky, but blimey I’m wide awake.
There’s too much stuff circuling my head. Too much to type out.
Will things work out someday?
I’m a little surprised really. They’ve prescribed me 42 zopiclone x 3.75mg and they know I already have some in my possession. Once again I am finding myself with to many pills. Tonight will be my first night on a reduced dose; 10.5mg and a promethazine to fill the void. Not exactly a break for my liver.
My blood pressure, is normal, well the nurse said normal. Actually it’s just a little high at 126/80, and definitely higher than “my normal”.
I’m still a wreck. Physically really unwell (nausea, pounding headaches and full of tremors) and emotionally totally drained. A phone call with my GP today has at least resulted in blood tests. She’s asking for the full works, but it will be a whole week before I can see a phlebotomist.
I need the tests now!
I feel like I’m pregnant again. To be clear, I am not!
My head aches, I’ve thrown up (not deliberately) and I’m on edge. I can’t go on like this. I just can’t.
On a side note, I’m worried about my future drug supply. Today I had my first online prescription rejection. I can apparently try again in 3 months. I’ve exhausted all the half reputable dealers and by that I mean the ones that appear less dodgy.
Today I came across bulk ordering from clearly questionable sites. I can buy hundreds of pills, but god knows what’s in them.
The trouble is, my desperation is rendering me tempted.
I need help.