Tag: noise

I guess I should have expected this.  It’s two steps forward and one step back.  I’ve found today quite challenging.  At 8.00 am little crying sounds penetrated my eardrums; “Please go back to sleep, please please please!”

I really didn’t want to get up today and If I’d had the choice, I would have stayed cocooned in my duvet. With the Little man though, I have no choice. He stirred for a little while and by 9 am, I was up and preparing his breakfast.  I didn’t have the energy today.  It may be a coincidence but often when I’m low, Little man is more difficult. Off course this is partly explained by my inability to cope with normal day to day behaviours, but  sometimes I think he is attuned to my inner demons and when they rise, his quickly follow suit. He tested me today, and I guess I should be thankful that we both survived.

OH arrived home from work around 1. I found him tiresome. As I’ve mentioned before, he is in need of help himself.  We negatively bounce of each other, on days like this.  There is a general feeling of malaise. I tried to persuade him to hit the gym.  I’ve tried everyday since my hospital discharge, and everyday he finds a reason to decline.

I’ve also had trouble organising my medication since leaving hospital. Several phonecalls to the ward, my GP and my CPN have quite frankly stressed me out.  I was finally able to pick up the script this afternoon, only to find, that I’ve been given enough for 7 days.  Only 7 days! I guess when you try to overdose; GP’s become a little more cautious, but the thought of battling against the receptionists and the locums again next week, is enough to send me into a cold sweat.

I’m tired now, really tired, but if the past few nights are anything to go by; it will be a few hours yet before sleep finds me.

On a brighter note; I’m seeing my psychologist tomorrow, who I’m very fond off.

Loopy x.