I’m not the only one in this house who suffers from depression. This past few years, I’ve probably made things all about me. I’ve been the one in and out of hospital. I’ve been the one who cries, complains off stress, anxiety and unstable moods. I’ve been the one under the care of a community team (well I used to be.. I couldn’t call it “care” over here).
The reality, one that I’ve known for some time is that it’s not just me who suffers. OH has struggled too since the arrival of little man. OH is always tired, distant and short tempered. His mood affects mine, and more worryingly our moods affect little man. OH snaps and swears and withdraws. He exhibits most off my symptoms.
It’s not fair on him, it’s not fair on me and it’s not fair on little man.
I’ve been selfish, but if we’re to survive as a family, it’s time we addressed the elephant in the room.
Well almost anyway. I’m now off for my Christmas break!!!
Tomorrow my little man turns the big 3. I can’t believe it. I’m glad that I’m alive for him.
Cuddles and pressies and cake all round tomorrow.
I’d bought a costume. I had good intentions, but then OH was working, and I get home quite late. I don’t drive, and grandparents never thought to offer.
Little man didn’t get to be a pirate. He didn’t get to binge on goodies, see fireworks or help daddy carve a pumpkin.
I feel really bad. I feel disappointed for him, and for myself.
Maybe next year. I must do better.
This time last year, I genuinely feared that my son hated me. One year on and I have a total anaconda on my hands!
Teeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!; I hear bellowing relentlessly around the house. I hope he always calls me Tee.
He clutches to my leg and wraps himself around me, he demands that only I take him for his pee pees and ony I will do at bedtime. There is no doubt that he loves me, no doubt that he sees me as his protector and play mate, but oh my word; it’s exhausting!!!!
I assume this clingy phase will pass.
We’re in the throws of the terrible two’s. Little man has my temper, coupled with OH’s stubberness. This makes for an explosive cocktail!
We’ve been good so far on the united parenting front. When we say no, we mean no!!! Little man is certainly testing the boundaries; throwing himself on the floor, squealing and shrieking like something possessed and ultimately testing my patience to it’s limits.
We’ve been good though, no raised voices or shouting. We just calmly stand our grand, which is a huge departure from how I was raised. A quick slap was the tool of choice during my upbringing. Not excessively by any means but used nonetheless.
Psychology has helped myself and OH to map out our own path on the family front, not conforming to our own parents ideals. Its not as easy as it sounds.
It’s day 3 of potty training and we’re now at around 50% success rates. Not bad going really, and I’m feeling proud of our little man.
He loves using his potty. Well actually to be more precise, he loves emptying his potty down the “big toilet” Here in lies the dilemma. Our little man’s control is so good that he stops his pee pee mid flow, so that he can go clean the potty. He empties it, goes again with a few more dribbles and so the routine follows until he’s eventually empty.
It’s great that he’s doing so well, but mmmmmm we can’t go back and forth repeatidly all day. These little people certainly do keep us on our toes.
PS potty training is very similar to training a puppy…Consistency is key!.. 😉
My little man asked to go Pee pee at the weekend. He’s been following Granda alot and has become interested.
Today we’ve set up his potty, stripped his bottom bare and now we’re running after him with paper towels at the ready.
We’ve had several puddles on the floor, but he definitely does like his new potty (the built in flush sound is a hit)
Watch this space. I’ll post what I’ve learned from the experience if this go is successful. We really haven’t a clue what we’re doing. I’ve only ever trained puppies. Little people are a whole other prospect.
My father has always been the more affectionate of my parents. He has tried to shower us with kisses and hugs and warmth at times, and I’ve always awkwardly recieved them, often pulling away from him.
That is how my mum reacts and that is how I’ve learned to react. It seems a little cruel to me now, that I’ve essentially shot him down so many times, despite wishing my mum would act more like him.
Psychology has helped me to realise that my father really loves me, and that I give love, much like he does. I will no longer shoot him down. I will hug him with all my might, I will phone him more, and I will end every call, with ;”I love you too Dad”.
I’ve already started, and you know what; it’s awesome…
I love you Dad!!!
So today we took the sides off little mans cotbed. New bedding thrilled him and new soft furnishings to match are on their way.
I’m sad and proud in equal measure. On one hand he’s growing up too fast, on the other he’s turning into quite the little character.
I still feel guilt for those months I spent away from him, but we’re having more fun now than we ever did before.
Today was spent mostly in our back yard, digging sand, eating at his own little plastic house, filling a wagon with stones, and beaming from ear to ear as he went about amusing himself.
Good weather helps a lot. Good weather allows outdoor play and better parenting. Indeed good weather lifts my mood.
Tonight we may not get much sleep. Toys in darkness and no bars to stop him, may be just too tempting for our little man. .
The battle lines were drawn. He glared at me steadfast, and confident. There was only ever going to be one winner here.
No I will not use a spoon today Mummy! I will eat my beef and mash on my terms, or I shall starve!!!!!
You’ve got to admire the stubberness off a 2 year old. We can usually count on him to swallow grub without protest, handling cutlery like a pro.
Some battles are worth fighting and simetimes when sleep depruved and alone it’s just easier to wait whilst this little human, slowly and infuriatingly sucks beef and mash from a 5ml paracetamol syringe.
This evening would be spent powerhosing every nook and cranny of his little pudgy arms and legs. There was much fun had running and rolling down sand dunnes and I knew that he would harbour kilograms of the stuff and gleefully sprinkle it on kitchen tiles, staircase carpets and bedroom floors upon our return home. I will deal with that tomorrow!!!
Now though, it’s bath time. A whiff of something in the air indicated the need for a gentle pre wipe. I whipped his nappy off, dealt with his thoughtful little gift, and stood him, bare bummed and smiling by our bath.
I quickly nipped out to grab his PJ’s and upon my return, there they were, glistening and golden on my bathroom floor;
3 little puddles………….