Tag: parents

458. When family come to visit.

My family came to visit us today. Mum, Dad, my sister and her 3 children. It was nice seeing them but………

Here’s an insight into why I’m ^damaged^

I bring out shortbread to go with their cups off tea. Mum looks at the packet, turns to me and says; “aw, sure they’re not Scottish*. 1st disapproval off the day.

Later the kiddos had lunch and chocolate cake. The floor a mess, I take out our broom. Mum takes it, sweeps one stroke; “you think you’d buy a decent brush’ 2nd disapproval of the day.

A little while later I give my sister the grand tour. As she’s coming down the stairs she remarks “oh I love your Garland. Mum quickly pipes up; ^sure there’s not even any lights on it!”

There we have it folks, the trifecta. I could go on with the negative gripes that spewed today, but I can’t be arsed. Sometimes I’m accused of black and white thinking, but honestly folks if she had muttered even just the slightest off positive remarks, I’d shout it from the friggin tree tops! Not my Mum, not now, not ever.

It was still nice seeing them all though. I can manage a day, just about

Loopy x

328. A show of love.

I’m harsh on my parents if truth be told. They never did ’emotions”. I blame my upbringing to some degree for my current emotional instability, but I do know that they loved us.

They would show this love, not through hugs and kisses, not through hours of play or help with homework, or encouraging pats on the back, but oh my word at Christmas!! We were spoiled at Christmas, ruined in fact. Our living room floor would mimic a toy store. My parents were never rich. They worked long hours for minimum pay, and would have to scrimp and borrow, but at Christmas, myself and my sister would have all the must have toys, gizmos and gadgets. I can recall that one year, Santa even brought a horse!!

And to this day, that’s how love is shown. Tonight my mum secretly handed me a wad of cash. A thick wad, that I know she can’t afford.

I took it though (albeit uncomfortably) because I now know what it stands for. She’s proud of my new job, of my latest achievement and in her own unique way, she loves me.

I only wish she could just say those words.

Loopy x

285. I’m phoning Dad.

My father has always been the more affectionate of my parents. He has tried to shower us with kisses and hugs and warmth at times, and I’ve always awkwardly recieved them, often pulling away from him.

That is how my mum reacts and that is how I’ve learned to react. It seems a little cruel to me now, that I’ve essentially shot him down so many times, despite wishing my mum would act more like him.

Psychology has helped me to realise that my father really loves me, and that I give love, much like he does. I will no longer shoot him down. I will hug him with all my might, I will phone him more, and I will end every call, with ;”I love you too Dad”.

I’ve already started, and you know what; it’s awesome…

I love you Dad!!!

Loopy x

185. A 7 year old reduced to tears.

Today I got a glimpse into my childhood. I bought my little niece lego classic for Christmas.

This afternoon as she was building happily, when my Dad noticed she was going slightly rogue with the instructions. He actually argued with a 7 year old little girl, insisting she was doing it wrong and raising his voice as he became more irritated and quite frankly irrational. It reduced my niece to tears and my mum was also weepy eyed.

My Dads character is difficult to explain. He is never deliberately mean, and is often the more affectionate of my parents, but he lacks sense.

He’s loud and boisterous with little man and becomes worse when little man cries despite me asking him to tone things down.

He would feed children sweets morning, noon and night, and I’ve caught him giving fizzy drinks that I don’t yet allow.

He always has to be right even if that means arguing with a child.

I consoled my niece and ordered my father to apologise. He did and myself and my niece completed the build with every colour of brick except the right ones.

Loopy x.