128. Disheartened.

I’m feeling like a failure today.  I’m slipping back into old habits; the same habits that lead me down a dark path before.  I’ve had a chat with my CPN, and I’ve not taken any steps to improve my support system. I feel like I’m wasting her time. If your patients don’t take on the advice you give, then what’s the point in seeing them? I’ve got psychology on Thursday and no doubt I’ll be asked similar questions, but I’m faitering.

My GP won’t prescirbe me anymore than 7 days worth of meds, and I have to go in and sign for every script. Its bloody annoying but probably wise. I’ve just found zopiclone for an even cheaper price online.  I don’t know why I’m looking.  The good news I guess, is that I genuinly don’t have enough in my bank account right now to make the purchase.  I’ve registered with the company though. I guess its my back up plan.

Stop it Loopy, your son needs his mum. I’d actually give anything right now, jsut to talk with my favourite support worker or named nurse from the psych ward.  But that’s no longer an option.

I did manage the gym this evening, with a little persuasion from OH.  it was a tough session though. I lacked energy today.

Loopy x.

 

Author: insideloopyshead

On paper I have the perfect life, good career, supportive and loving partner and a beautiful little son. But today I want to die. It’s time to set my thoughts free. Come along with my daily mental adventures and gain insight into warped thinking and it’s hazards and maybe support me along the way.

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