It has been quite a while now since I’ve held hot irons against my arm, but I could hold it off no longer, and tonight the little sounds created by melting flesh, where my reward. The pain, too, brings a sort of comfort that I still don’t fully understand.
My current meds regimen is as follows;
Venlafaxine am 75mg, quietiapine pm 300mg, mirtazapine pm 30mg, zopiclone (self medicating) pm 7.5mg, orlistat (self medicating) with meals 120mg. I should also be taking propranolol 20 mg twice a day, but I’m not. I’m stock piling, I guess it’s a kind of back up plan. Enough off that and my heart will stop!!!
I need to talk to someone, but there’s no one to listen.
Loopy x.
What really happens in somones head? 
You could always talk to me if you wanted. Have a good day.
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That’s kind of you To get, thank you
I guess I just need my CMHT to do their job and help me.
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That’s ok. CMHT?
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CMHT is the community mental health team. Nurses, social workers and psychiatrists etc who should co-ordinate your care e.g. psychology referrals and check in with you to see how you’re doing. I’ve gone from having a wonderful nurse visit me for an hour every week to having nothing.
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That sounds helpful, I don’t ever get visitors thesse days.
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